The last thing I had in this world was safety. I felt safe in this house because no one in the outside world could ever hurt me, no one would ever violate me or say things to me that would make me want to scream and cry. But you, my own mother, took that safety away from me. I no longer have any private place to be safe. You took everyone from me, you made my life hell and now I can’t even walk into my own room without a wave of pain striking my heart and I hate you for taking them away from me. I hate you for taking him away when he was my only source of happiness and I hate you for making me feel like I had to push her away when I felt myself starting to trust again and I hate you because you have ruined every aspect of my life. Do you know how lonely I feel when I can only tell my coach about what you say and do to me in the place I’m suppose to feel loved? She hates you, despises your existence. I hate you. I hate you for letting Dad back into my life without my consent. I hate you for letting Dad talk to me about how much more weight I have to lose when it was hard enough to lose what I have. I hate you for letting everyone tell me how imperfect I am and I hate how you expect me to look into the mirror and tell myself I’m beautiful when you tell me otherwise. You make me feel like nothing I ever do will ever be good enough for anyone and I hate you for having this much impact on my life. I hate you I hate you
I fucking hate you.