Let me just get some things off of my chest for a second, because a boy that doesn’t even know me told me I should try to lose more weight, be like the smaller girls, etc.
First of all, I am a taller, bigger girl. I was not built to be a small, petite girl like most of my friends are. I stand at about 5’9/5’10. I have broad shoulders, my torso is longer than my legs, and I wear a bra size 44DDD. I am not built to be a small girl, and I probably never will be. The average weight for my height and build is around 170/175. Like I said before, people like me are not built to fit into the smallest pair of shorts.
Second of all, I have lost plenty of weight. At the start of our volleyball two-a-days back on August fourth, I weighed myself and I was a little over 240 pounds. I hated the sight of myself. I felt like I had to put on pounds of make up to keep the attention on my face instead of the fat falling out of my jeans. Working out with the rest of my team mates was hard for me. I was constantly tired, but I still put in every ounce of power I had to make sure I was not letting my team down. I worked as hard as I possibly could. It is now September 28th, and yesterday I weighed in at almost 210 pounds. I have dropped 30 pounds in about two months and I am still continuing to challenge myself and lose weight. And to hear someone asking me why I don’t lose more wounds me.
Third, the fact that this person didn’t even know how much it took for me to even consider working out like this makes me furious. I was scared shitless when we had our first hard run in the beginning of the season. We had to start running half a mile, and I couldn’t even run the first quarter mile. I was pathetic. Then the next week, even though I was slow, I ran the whole entire thing with my team encouraging me to push myself farther than I thought I could. My team mates challenge me to do things I thought I could never do and they have helped me accomplish so many things. They have helped me change my mind set, and even though I still have moments of doubt, I am slowly evolving, changing my thought from “I can’t do this,” to “I will die trying to achieve this goal.” They have helped me become a better person for future sports this year, and by the time basketball is here, I plan on being below 200 so I can help benefit them during that season as well.
I think the reason I’m writing this is because this person, knowing nothing about me, assumed that because I am still overweight, I was not trying to become a healthier, better version of myself, which really pissed me off. And I know that this has happened to so many other men and women that have tried to lose weight in the past. I know how it feels to look in that mirror and think that nothing will ever change, to think that all you will ever be are the stretch marks and fat, but I promise you are more than that. And if you don’t want to lose weight, fuck, you don’t have to. You can be perfectly happy being the weight you’re at and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Don’t let someone’s opinion of healthy change your view of yourself like I did. I think, being happy with the way you are is a mental thing. You have to start changing the negative thoughts into positive ones. Everyone is beautiful in their own ways and honestly, we shouldn’t have to lose weight to feel better about ourselves.